| Jesus died for your sins, so if you don't sin, then he died for nothing |
[12 Nov 2009|12:51pm] |
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There is some God out there with a sick twisted sense of humour.
SICK, I tell you- SICK!
.:le sigh:.
Seriously?! Srlsy?! WTF?!
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Why is it when I decide to pick that one good thing in life, life decides to give me back all of my fuck ups?
As is I had forgotten.
I just gotta stay focused.
Focused
FOCUS!
Excuse me, while I go find a place to hide the bodies- i mean body, i mean--- SHYT
<.<
>.>
>.<
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| *SQUUUEEEEE* |
[10 Nov 2009|11:47pm] |
Gatita says: random comment: i like you <-{Duncan}-> In Moncton says: hehe i like you too
i kno i kno i'm annoying with all these gushy lovey posts but. yay!!!!!
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| Le Sigh.... v.v dammit |
[05 Nov 2009|10:31am] |
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international political economy lecture |
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He's too fucking cute dammit!!!
Gatita said: i should so take a random vacation in like the next five min <-{Duncan}->said: lol i agree Gatita said: i'll jus *poof* to ur room <-{Duncan}->said: wow it worked but you forgot you clothes ;) Gatita said: Lol i got some jeans there <-{Duncan}->said: lol Gatita said: i'll jus wear ur cloths.. altho i don think i;ll need them <-{Duncan}->said: true Gatita said: but u have to keep me warm- i don do well in chilly weather <-{Duncan}->said: ok i can do that Gatita said: Yay now to figure out how to poof* <-{Duncan}->said: yupp Gatita said: Rawr darn <-{Duncan}->said: i agree Gatita said: ^^* (blushin icon) funny thing is the only thing preventing me is friggin school... dammit <-{Duncan}-> said: fuckin school
i giggled, i lol'ed, i sighed, and i seriosly considered jus buying a fucking ticket right then and there
and to angela's response of the emo status... I'm not sure about what to do about alberto and keith- obviously i really fucking like kieth, but i suck at celibacy and alberto is here- and i have established that if anything did happen it would jus be sex, no drama no strings. but i have a feeling that if i did, it would be like cheating on keith... which is odd cuz he isnt my boyfriend, is jus as sexually driven as me, and obviously 2,000 mi away... and whats more odd is that i would feel bad about it- i have never felt remorse over cheating... i was talking to another friend about that if either of us could ever move to the other, would i want keith here or would i rather go there.. i said i'd rather go there cuz i wouldnt want to make him move.. my friends response was "u woulnt have him move, but you would? yea u fucking like him, maybe more"
so i while i might be passin up the best thing to happen to me in a long time, my education is still important.... and really its the only thing keeping me from pursuing this further- i wanna graduate already X_X
EDIT: i have no idea what the hell is wrong with the font size, but w/e. you all get the fucking point
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| Llama, Llama, Llama, Dahli Llama, Llama, Llama |
[29 Oct 2009|08:55am] |
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You're All I Have- Snow Patrol |
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so my costume has changed to zombie
alberto wanted to match lol- he'll be an army zombie
i decided zombie school girl
... i was discussing my cotume with keith
my colour scheme is the same as his
we're kinda gonna match- 2,000 miles away
altho he'll be connor from boondock saints *drools*
... i am such a friggin dork i was smiling for an hour
.:sigh;. i like this kid too damn much :(
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| Wine or Beer, Beer or Wine? Sex or Sicily? ... dammit |
[22 Oct 2009|10:16am] |
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My teacher talking about the dollar and its foreign exchange rate in the markets |
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So, today I got an email form my Italian Professor... She's running another course for Spring break- this time to Sicily. OMG I want to go, but I'm not sure if i could make the payments in time and on top of that, I kinda really wanted to re-visit Keith (who btw suck atm because he's going to Orlando in Feb with his family... which means it would be very awkward if I tried to kidnap him). N-e-ways, I don't know if I should go with my original plan of Canada or go to Italy again- keep in mind tho its already 1400- not including airfare, tuition, and a 175 fee for insurance.... much more than what I would spend in Canada for the same amount of time (roughly $800, which is rly just the airfare/taxi/food)
WHY?! WHY?! it's like being hungry and being given the choice of either of your two favorite foods... I want both, can only have one, and can't seem to chose...
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Btw, I just realized I am arguing against going to Italy for a guy... is there something wrong with me?
*headdesk*
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[09 Oct 2009|11:54pm] |
.:le sigh:.
Alberto is coming back to Miami at some point this month... He invited me to a party in Melborne for Halloween- I agreed ( I don't know why but I did)... I'm afraid of something happening- or maybe him wanting something to happen-- He asked if it would be possible to go on Fri and come back Sun (basicaly taking me away for the weekend) but I have a charity walk on Sat- but he said we could leave right after that... This is kinda odd to me. I've never known him to want to be so close.. its kinda wierd. I did however invite him to see an opera with me in November- its being organized by the FIU Italian Club, and I really wanted to go, and I really wanted to avoid going alone.
I will be honest. I am confused. I really like Keith and I do plan on seeing him again- possibly in March for Spring Break, but I know that what we have is... complicated at best- being 2,000 miles apart isn't excatly a good variable in any relationship equation; and no matter how much we chat and webcamchat, I know that it isn't the same as a real relationship... I can hide myself when I'm feeling depressed or moody, he doesn't see me at my worst, or know the stress of work or school-- which is weird because I actually avoid mentioning work to him and I think we have both avoided adding the other to Facebook... and now that Alberto is coming to town, I actually think if anything did happen, I'd feel a little guilty... and yes, I did feel guilty for kissing Joey... He's really not my type and I totally led him to think something could happen... but I'm digressing.
The point, I guess is, that Alberto is here-and while he's made lots of mistakes, there is something still there and that Keith is so far- but I like him so much and he's made such an impact on me that I truly don't know what to do. I know that saying "Amor de lejos es amor de pendejos"... but it's jus annoying I guess. I wish I could be with Keith more, but it's hard and he can't afford to visit me- this whole situation has me confused. I wish things were different, easier. Darn you Fate *shakes fist*
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[22 Sep 2009|12:10am] |
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Gretchen Wilson- Redneck Woman |
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i almost had an axiety attack at work... one second i was cleaning, then i felt really focused, and then i felt like something was wrong... i asked the shift in charge for a quick break but i think i kinda freaked him out cuz he was like ' are you ok? you look like you're about to cry'... i had a brownie (i remember kevin telling me to have sugar?) and about two cups of water- i told him not to go to far away because for somereason everytime he left me alone i started getting anxious again- i didnt hyperventilate this time (thank the gods) but i was disoriented for a bit.. this is the third one this year and they've all happened within the last two months-- i dont rly think its stress b/c im actually not stressing as much atm... idk... im worried- my mom said it could be because of my families hsitory of diabeties (hyper, hypo- glcymia, etc) but the last time i had blood work done (a lil over a year ago) the doc told me all my levels were normal... i rly hope its not, my mom said i should jus kinda learn to work with the anxiety ( she says its good that i can tell before it happens, but that i should manage it better) idk- im all grr-blah-arg-wtf?.
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[27 Aug 2009|03:01pm] |
Well tuesday was my first day of school.
Since I have class @ 9:30am, I figure it'd be better if I got used to my mom dropping me off @ 7:30am, jus for those days where I forget a paper and such. Last spring, I had a prof obsessed with sending us emails that we would need to read before class, so by habit i checked and oh did i find a nice surprise
I hope I find all of you well this fall semester. I am your Proffessor for International Political Economy. Unfortunately, we won't be having class on tues. See you all thurs
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... Mother fucker... due to previous experience at 9:30am I showed up at the class and announced to the class "Are you all here for the international political economy class?" "..yea" "Um, yea he sent an email. Class is cancelled"
So i had to wait.....
When it finally came time for my Social and Political Philosophy class @ 2:00pm, the proffessor announces that we wont be having class on thurs (today).
which meant i'd be waiting for 7 hours till me next class on thurs...
I am waiting for my teacher to announce that at some point next week my 5:00pm American Foreign Policy class will be cancelled. cuz you kno cancelling class is the new trend. (Altho she only used like 15min worth of class yesterday jus to go over the sylabus and then left)
I slightly regret putting such huge blocks of time between classes but somehow I hold onto the hope that this will all pay off.
All my prof seem pretty helpful and have talked about why they are qualified to teach these classes, so I am hopeful that all will go well.
but it seems that no one rly wants to do too much grading
IPE: Midterm, ResearchPaper,Final, Class participation
SPP: Three papers and one Final
AFP: 3 Exams, One book review
It's been a while since I havent had to do a presentation or Group project.. I'm midly surprised
hope you are all having fun ^_^
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[04 Aug 2009|06:58pm] |
So i finally picked out my fall classes
classes start the 24th of august
I only have classes Tuesdays and Thursdays
International Political Economy @ 9:30 am - 10:45am
This is my elective
Social and Politcal Philosiphy @ 2:pm - 3:15pm
American Foreign Policy @ 5pm - 6:15pm
i had a limited selection this semester, but since it is my last year im really not looking to push myself.
i will be working my usual 30 hr work weeks, but i look foward to seeing everyone for alex's bday, kevins bday, diana's bday, angelas bday and halloween... which means i rly do need to work to get u all presents lol--- and my costume
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| "what are you doing?" |
[24 Jul 2009|12:29pm] |
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Whoa-Paramore |
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lol i did something silly today- i woke up this morning wanting to feel productive and what do i decide to do? dishes. i was halfway thru washing them when he came home from school- scared the shit out of me. he was laughing at me... i also swept the floor but i don kno where they keep the mop. damn u OCD! lol
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| Fucking Canadians, eh? |
[23 Jul 2009|04:26pm] |
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Right Now- Pussycat Dolls |
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Sorry i havent written anything in a while.
for those of u that don pay attention to my facebook, i am in canada ( fredericton, new brunswick to be exact)
keith is awesome- he's laid back, my kind of adorable, and jus all around great guy...
why do u have the feeling that this could be bad?
because it is, i kno i came up here w/o the intentions of anything happening past physical contact.. but idk, he's jus a rly sweet guy and i hate it! why?! why can't he be closer? why cant i live closer?! why?! fucking canadians- he rly makes me laugh and i havent felt this relaxed in a long time... i havent felt this way for a guy in a long time and its driving me crazy- i wake up in the middle of the night with his arms around me- even tho we both fell asleep facing away. he gives me a kiss when we wake up. i've never had such great sex (to the point im shaking and cant move)- he's jus all around fucking amazing..... and i dont kno what to do. i go home sat night/ sun morning. and that plane ride is gonna rly suck. don get me wrong- im glad i came to see him, its jus that it'll prob be a long time before i see him in person again sux ass.
btw fredericton is rly nice- quiet- relaxing- jus an all around beautiful city- he says i should see it when it snows (yea no, too cold -22C ~ -8F... fucking cold* but the trees they have here are basically our christmas trees- i don remember what kind of pine but yea pretty- and there are tons of friggin squirrels so cute
well im off for now- im being lazy while he's off ta work and ive decided i wanna try to read all the books he has on sex lmao (most of them are about massages so i understand why he has them) lol see u all when i get back to mia
EDIT: btw, yes they do use the word 'eh' but jus about the same amount we use 'huh'. its soooo cute and i can't help but giggle when i hear it- he does kno some french- but no spanish lmao, its very interesting
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[03 Jul 2009|12:48pm] |
so i am really looking foward to my vacation, mostly cuz work has started to cause me migraines and i think i deserve a stress free vacation.
<3 so essited
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| yum yum yum |
[15 Jun 2009|12:56am] |
cant remember how to do the lj cut
but this is why caro is willing to travel for a week to canada *droolz*
yes i realize he is not what most of your are used to but omg, a real white boy- who's cute ^_^
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[10 Jun 2009|05:20pm] |
just to lol
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[10 Jun 2009|04:17pm] |
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so juancho called me the other night, said he wanted to talk and stuff.
i guess i should probably finally explain what happened. we got back to about my birthday- or the last week of march. i had told julie that i would ahve a sunday dinner with her and maybe some of our coworkers- juancho calls me- after i told him i wouldnt be available and asked me if he could come along. i told him no- i wanted girls time and to just be with my friends. he kinda got all mad and made a big deal about it.
a few weeks later, julie told me that her moving to hawaii was inevitable and that probably july august she'd be leaving. we made some plans to hookah. and again juancho blows up on me that im blowing him off and that "its not your friends i dont trust, its the places you go"-places that i had been going to before i started dating him. it kinda threw me off, i told him i allow him to be with his friends and i dont bother him why cant i have the same courtesy. his response?
"you're always hanging out with your friends, you never see me anymore"--- i had seen him the day before, and i ahvent rly seen anyone other than angela since the whole bush gardens trip... i started thinking and i felt like i was having deja vu... hmm where had i seen responses like this before? ou yea, DAXTER!... so i started getting a little edgy and noticed small things. he wanted to hangout with me during my study time, and after school, and after work, and anyother time i had free time. it was too much.
what started his downhill fall in my book. julie's friend steph was having a family party and she invited me and julie. jus us cuz it was a family party. so i told juancho i was going. he flipped and started asking why he couldnt go. i told him he wasn't invited, steph didnt rly kno him and julie and i were supposed to be hanging out with her (cuz we rarely see her since she quit from tattoo shop). he said that when people are in a couple that their friends are supposed to invite both and that we should always go together and other thigns along those lines.
to say the least i got pissed, since when did i agree to that? the situation was completely illogical.
a week later, he comes to tell me that his friends friend- who i had met in early april, was having a bday party and that i HAD to go... but i was closing that night so i told him, i might be tired i'll think about it. he told me no i had to go b/c everyone was expecting me and blah blah blah... julie came to me later in the same week telling me she was now leaving beginning of june. our coworker and friend Peta, got us an in at a club and were gonna start saying farewell (we had planned that the month before she left we would go out every weekend). so i called juancho to tell him i had to cancel cuz i had to go with julie
he did not understand. he told me that i couldnt do that, that we had made plans, and i told him that julie was my friend had been for two years and i was going to be there for her. his reply was verbatim "why couldnt you have hung out with her more in that last two years?"
i was appalled. i basically hung up on him afterwards- seething.
it took a couple of days but he was even less understanding when i told him i had another party for julie the following weekend.
there were some other moments where i started getting more agitated like him showing up at my job the night he knew i was going out with julie. suspicious? yes. his response was that it was perfectly normal.
w/e i broke up with him- he was very calm about it and we scheduled a day for me to get my stuff back from him.
this was about mid may
he called sayign he jus wanted to talk, he told me he should've been more understanding and that he was sorry and that he had had a lot of time to reflect on everything
he got my repsonse of, you cant change what happened and as much as he says it couldve been different i doubt it wouldve been, and that there would be no second chance with me- it wouldve ended eventually cuz he isnt rly what i want for the rest of my life (i always knew that) and that we're jus different when it comes to our goals and priorities. he was kinda offended by it but in the end i guess he had his closure... im happy for him.
it will be while before i date again i know this but i wont ever regret the time i had, i got to see alot and got to do somethings i wouldve otherwise wouldnt have had the chance to do.
sorry for the long post but i forgot how to make the cut thingy.
<3
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| *tears* |
[01 Jun 2009|03:45pm] |
So my lovely friend Julie is moving to Hawaii on fri. she's been my great friend and coworker fro over two years. im sure most of you ahve seen the many pix i have with her and kno of some of our randomness. im rly going to miss her- these past three weekends we have been partying our butts off trying to take as many pix possible- which we usually never did. yesterday was the last day she was working- we had a teary dinner with all my coworkers at cheesecake. im going to hookah with her tues, and thurs we're going drinking as one last hurrah. i kno im going to be crying- ive been fighting it all week- walking away when ppl were crying around her- closing my eyes and taking deep breaths everytime we hugged.
it rly does suck- i feel like im losing a big part of my life. julie has been there for me in so many ways and she always knew what i ws thinking and even a couple of times we have scared ppl by saying the same sentence at the same time as tho twins. im rly going to miss her and everyone keeps saying now i have an excuse to go to hawaii but all i keep thinking is how im losing my friend. you all kno im not good at keeping in touch and she's the same way (ironic?) we're both trying rly hard not to cry and we keep trying to keep it out of our thoughts when we hang out but this week is reality and ive been getting rly emotional- wanting to surround myself with as many ppl possible at all times.
if i seem rly out of it for the next few weeks, don be worried. ive never had such a connection to someone, not even my boyfriends, so it hurts so much that im losing someone so important and we wont be able to jus randomly go out after work or have a day off together and that makes me sad. i am rly sad about this. i cant say it enough bc its jus hitting us. yesterday was the first time we got teary-eyed since learning that she was leaving a month ago. i wish her the best and she will always be one of the greatest friends in my life.
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| *twirling* |
[26 May 2009|01:00pm] |
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baby come back- Magic Juan |
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so i wanna go to canada in july. i have a friend who says i can stay at his house. im essited. if all goes to plan, which i hope i didnt jus jinx, then i can ^_^ yay!
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